However...
I hit a plateau, which completely threw me off.
Two years after my crawling-on-the-floor moment, I moved to Berlin to dance. At this point, I had already lived in 6 cities in 4 countries on 3 continents.
International moving was my superpower! I move countries like the way other people change shoes! I could do this! And I could do this MYSELF!
Until everything fell apart. My body started to go through the next stage of healing, I was living with unwelcoming roommates, and I was in a foreign country where I didn’t really speak the language (maybe I should have thought more about this before moving?)
I tried everything to hang onto my life, but I hit bottom again. Harder than I ever had before.
For someone who was used to doing everything by sheer will and determination, this was a huge blow. Suddenly, I couldn’t just fix everything or make things happen the way I used to.
Embracing Uncertainty
I had to learn to deal with uncertainty- to walk forward in the dark, not knowing where anything was going. I had to learn to have deep faith.
I learned to let go of how I thought everything should be happening, and instead started to let in more of what was meant for me.
I used every fear and uncertainty to look more deeply inside myself, and I learned my greatest lesson:
True change starts from within.
In order to get what we want in life, we need to change our inner condition. This means getting clear on what we want and clearing up everything holding us back.
That's how we flow more easily with life.
Permission to Shine
From the moment I learned to change my outlook, I declared that I would change my life.
There would be no more living in fear, no more holding myself back, no more pushing to make things happen.
Instead, I chose to feel great about myself. I choose to value myself.
I give myself permission to shine without worrying how it might affect other people.
Life can be easy. Getting what I want can be effortless.
These were all foreign ideas to me, but I was willing to change and to show up differently for myself and in life.
In doing so, I welcomed more love, health, abundance, friendships, family, career success, freedom, art and adventure.
Doors continuously open for me. I’m walking. I dance and perform all the time, and all over the world. I collaborate with wonderful people.
I’m attracting all the situations I can hope for, and have learned to expect the best. And it has always turned turns out far better than I could have imagined.